The Grass is Always "Grayer"

My oldest brother Paul called me the other day, and he began to ask me about where I was that made me the "bestest happy". Upon hearing my answer he began to express an interest in moving to Indiana.
"Paul have you ever been to Indiana?"
"No."
"What appeals to you about it?"
"Well it's just a most randomest state that could bring me happiness."
Immediately I realize what is really going on. Paul has called a few of his friends to invite them over to hang out, and they either did not answer or they were busy doing something else. In Paul's mind, he associates this as his friends no longer like him. He then begins to fantasize about other places where he could live that may offer him more friends. He thinks our small hometown fails to offer him enough people to hang out with, and he wants to shake the dust of that town off his feet.
"Are you not happy at home Paul?"
"Well I just about heard of this advice once from my teacher and...uhh...is the grass really greener or grayer on the other side? Or whichever of those makes the mostest sense?"
I cannot help but chuckle to myself. Honestly both could be true.
"Well Paul sometimes when we are unhappy, we think that leaving where we are can fix everything for us. But you have to keep in mind that there are good and bad things about any place you might live in. You might not like being at home all the time, but you like your jujitsu class, and hiking in the mountains, and riding your mountain bike without cars being around, and all your friends that you have there."
"Yeeeeaahhh."
"I really like where I live, but sometimes I get lonesome for mom and dad. And I miss you, Katie, and Beth, but that doesn't mean I should come back home right now. I'm exactly where I am supposed to be right now, and so are you. Ya know?"
"Yeah I was just about thinking that."
"Are you upset right now?"
"Well none of my buddies picked up the phone, and they don't want to hang out with me only whenever I most want them to. And I think I lost the happy. Do you have enough friends to keep you happy?"
"Yeah I have a lot of really good friends at my school, but I still get lonely sometimes like you are right now. Sometimes my friends are busy, or I am busy and we can't hang out. But that doesn't mean we stop being friends or have lost our happiness. It just means we can have even more fun when we see each other again."
"Mmmhmmm." Paul hums this very dramatically telling me he understands.
"And I miss you a lot too Paul. I think you're one of my best friends, and we are still friends even though I am your sister."
"Yeah. I miss you too."
"If you are ever lonely you can always call me."
"Okay. Thank you Danika."
"Did I make you feel better by saying that? Or did it annoy you?"
"No I feel sorta more happier now."
I smile, "Well good."
"Well that's just about all I wanted to talk about right now, so I'll talk to you later."
"Okay Paul, talk to you soon."
"Okay bye." He stammers

Paul is rarely affectionate towards me, because he thinks it's weird since I am his younger sister, so hearing him tell me that he missed me nearly made me tear up. After getting off the phone with Paul I thought about what he said; "I think I lost the happy." This simple phrase is closely related to what many people feel everyday. It's difficult for many to sit down, hear nothing, be still, and be by themselves. We feel as though we are missing out if we are not in constant communication with other people. We subconsciously think to ourselves, "Do I not have any friends?", "Do I not have a life?", "Maybe somewhere new would be better for me." It's hard to be alone sometimes. This is not an exclusive feeling to my brother with Autism.
When we feel like this we must remember that perhaps the grass is greener on the other side, yes. But it's also "grayer". Perhaps where we are does not seem to offer us anything at the moment, but at some point we were as happy there as we could be anywhere else.
It is good to spend time alone. We need that time to pray, reflect, collect our thoughts, and often find clarity in various aspects within our lives. Lucidity is a gift of being alone. Many of the most influential and life changing moments can occur during our personal alone time. Psalm 46:10 tells us, "Be still and know that I am God." This verse reminds us that we are in fact never alone, and it is good to keep our hearts and minds open to that, and to not confuse our loneliness with sorrow. By being alone we can seek a life of simplicity rather than multiplicity.

My handsome brother Paul and his dog Shep.