"You Shall Not Covet Your Neighbors Goods": Humility and Renouncing Avarice

There was once a time in my life that I wanted to have blonde hair more than anything. I would look with envy upon my sister Katie's soft, thick, and honey flowing light blonde locks. The sun appeared to reflect right off of her head. Beautiful to look at, and to touch. When my mother would curl our hair before mass on Sundays, her hair seemed more bouncy than my own. I even used to grow green when my father would sing "Sister Golden Hair Surprise" to her.
"Why can't there be a sister brunette hair surprise?" I would think to myself.
Brown hair even sounded awkward to me.
I used to play with all the blonde Barbie dolls, and stick Katie with the brunettes. She did not mind though, because it turns out that she used to desire my chocolate textured hair. She said it seemed smooth and calming.
We all want things simply because we do not have them.
Last Sunday, my church priest spoke about an observance made between three babies all in the same room. He explained that if a person were to place a toy between the three infants, then there would be no attention paid towards the toy until one of the infants picked it up. Suddenly the other two have to play with the toy clutched in the first baby's hands.
We often covet what we do not have, not because we necessarily want those things, but rather because another person has them. It is hard to remind ourselves that many things or characteristics that we ourselves hold may also be sought after by another. It is also difficult to remind ourselves to be humble with what we do have. Perhaps it is also imperative to encourage one's neighbor to refrain from the act of coveting by keeping things more personally cherished instead of divulging them publicly. After all, a gentleman does not speak of himself unless he is first prompted by another to do so. To me, being humble with one's own goods is as equally fundamental to a person's soul as forgoing jealous and avaricious thoughts.
I chose to use my sister and I as an example with our youthful hair desires to show that covetous feelings can be rooted within the most seemingly insignificant cases. Now granted my sister was not at fault for my silly childhood jealousy. She by no means flaunted her hair around, but by us emphasizing to each other our own beauty, we subconsciously assisted one another in appreciating what we have.
I encourage people to refrain from desires solely for the purpose of personal gain. Celebrate small things, and do not hold back in congratulating others. Over time our gifts will begin to flourish and multiply, but we must first give thanks for our small blessings; like chocolate smooth hair.
If you are struggling with jealousy of another or keeping a mortified heart, look to the commandments: "You shall not covet your neighbor's goods."

^^Honey golden, and chocolate brown <3

The Grass is Always "Grayer"

My oldest brother Paul called me the other day, and he began to ask me about where I was that made me the "bestest happy". Upon hearing my answer he began to express an interest in moving to Indiana.
"Paul have you ever been to Indiana?"
"No."
"What appeals to you about it?"
"Well it's just a most randomest state that could bring me happiness."
Immediately I realize what is really going on. Paul has called a few of his friends to invite them over to hang out, and they either did not answer or they were busy doing something else. In Paul's mind, he associates this as his friends no longer like him. He then begins to fantasize about other places where he could live that may offer him more friends. He thinks our small hometown fails to offer him enough people to hang out with, and he wants to shake the dust of that town off his feet.
"Are you not happy at home Paul?"
"Well I just about heard of this advice once from my teacher and...uhh...is the grass really greener or grayer on the other side? Or whichever of those makes the mostest sense?"
I cannot help but chuckle to myself. Honestly both could be true.
"Well Paul sometimes when we are unhappy, we think that leaving where we are can fix everything for us. But you have to keep in mind that there are good and bad things about any place you might live in. You might not like being at home all the time, but you like your jujitsu class, and hiking in the mountains, and riding your mountain bike without cars being around, and all your friends that you have there."
"Yeeeeaahhh."
"I really like where I live, but sometimes I get lonesome for mom and dad. And I miss you, Katie, and Beth, but that doesn't mean I should come back home right now. I'm exactly where I am supposed to be right now, and so are you. Ya know?"
"Yeah I was just about thinking that."
"Are you upset right now?"
"Well none of my buddies picked up the phone, and they don't want to hang out with me only whenever I most want them to. And I think I lost the happy. Do you have enough friends to keep you happy?"
"Yeah I have a lot of really good friends at my school, but I still get lonely sometimes like you are right now. Sometimes my friends are busy, or I am busy and we can't hang out. But that doesn't mean we stop being friends or have lost our happiness. It just means we can have even more fun when we see each other again."
"Mmmhmmm." Paul hums this very dramatically telling me he understands.
"And I miss you a lot too Paul. I think you're one of my best friends, and we are still friends even though I am your sister."
"Yeah. I miss you too."
"If you are ever lonely you can always call me."
"Okay. Thank you Danika."
"Did I make you feel better by saying that? Or did it annoy you?"
"No I feel sorta more happier now."
I smile, "Well good."
"Well that's just about all I wanted to talk about right now, so I'll talk to you later."
"Okay Paul, talk to you soon."
"Okay bye." He stammers

Paul is rarely affectionate towards me, because he thinks it's weird since I am his younger sister, so hearing him tell me that he missed me nearly made me tear up. After getting off the phone with Paul I thought about what he said; "I think I lost the happy." This simple phrase is closely related to what many people feel everyday. It's difficult for many to sit down, hear nothing, be still, and be by themselves. We feel as though we are missing out if we are not in constant communication with other people. We subconsciously think to ourselves, "Do I not have any friends?", "Do I not have a life?", "Maybe somewhere new would be better for me." It's hard to be alone sometimes. This is not an exclusive feeling to my brother with Autism.
When we feel like this we must remember that perhaps the grass is greener on the other side, yes. But it's also "grayer". Perhaps where we are does not seem to offer us anything at the moment, but at some point we were as happy there as we could be anywhere else.
It is good to spend time alone. We need that time to pray, reflect, collect our thoughts, and often find clarity in various aspects within our lives. Lucidity is a gift of being alone. Many of the most influential and life changing moments can occur during our personal alone time. Psalm 46:10 tells us, "Be still and know that I am God." This verse reminds us that we are in fact never alone, and it is good to keep our hearts and minds open to that, and to not confuse our loneliness with sorrow. By being alone we can seek a life of simplicity rather than multiplicity.

My handsome brother Paul and his dog Shep.

How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul

I recently read a book written by a husband and wife whose names are Jason and Crystalina Evert. The book is entitled, "How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul." Do not be fooled by this cheesy title. Does the title not appeal to you more than a typical magazine cover? ("How to Impress Your Dream Man this Valentine's Day" or "What A Guy Really Wants From You"). Women probably do not analyze these titles upon reading their Vogue or Cosmopolitan articles. These titles highlight only the "needs" of men, and what women could "do better" as far as pleasing them. Jason and Crystalina's book emphasizes that what a woman really needs to do for a man is hold him to a standard. This standard is all about the glorification of a woman's purity and ability to love a man through God. This purity can be original or newly found. In other words, it is never too late to align your heart with God's will, and practice chastity.

This book offers clarity on several aspects of love, chastity, forgiveness, and hope. You will not find bullet points of how a woman can improve for a man. A woman's eyes can be opened to the idea that she does not need to fix herself for a man, but rather glorify and treasure the precious gifts that her Father has given her. Look to the gospel for assistance here with the words of Matthew, "Do not give what is holy to dogs, or throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot, and turn and tear you to pieces. Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7: 6-7). A woman and her soul is divine, because she was composed by He who is divine. I think that that is what this book is all about.

I absolutely loved this couple's book, and I have already lent it to a close girlfriend of mine. Every woman needs to read this book, and it would certainly not hurt a man to read it. I have included below a few quotes from their writings that I enjoyed.

"Your body is capable of expressing the love of the Blessed Trinity. This is quite a calling. But you're worthy of nothing less."

"The fact remains that it's counterproductive to dress in a provocative way while expecting reverent behavior from men."

"But if you hope to find real love, look for a guy who has morals, not one who simply tolerates them."

"Stay true to your standards, because it is far better to be disappointed in men than to be disappointed in yourself."

Read this book! Pass it on to your daughters, best friends, nieces, youth group members, etc. With all of the trash that is published, our society would do well to let our eyes, hearts, and minds be saturated in not only beautiful words, but beautiful and true messages as well. 

A soulmate is not a fantasy. A soulmate is a person who God has designed specifically and especially for another. After all, God is the true divine author of marriage.

P.S. All of the pictures included within this blog are of beautiful marriages between close friends whom I know and love. May God continue to bless and flourish your marriages with love and mercy: Mom and Dad, Chad and Erin, Dave and Michele, Kerri and Joe, and Kristine and Scott. <3

"It Is Finished" Poem

Throughout this spring semester, my World Literature class has focused a lot of our readings on poems that carry Biblical or religious themes within them. These readings include "Death Be Not Proud", "The Dream of the Rood", "Easter Wings" etc. I wrote a religious poem a little over a month ago, and by studying these famous poems, I have become inspired to share it with you all.

This poem was inspired by a painting of Christ, artfully depicted by child prodigy artist known as Akiane Kramarik. This girl is absolutely beautiful, and her paintings are beyond alluring. I have shared a photo of the painting I chose to write about. Akiane painted this at the young age of nine.
I hope you all enjoy her painting, and my poem about it.

“It Is Finished ”

Hands calloused

I reach to you Father.

To hold

my children above the writhing earth.

To hoist

myself with all creations upon a rood.

I look through the abyss

which causes them to blunder.

I feel blood spill from my pores.

They sleep while I stand in this garden voicing desperate pleas.

I beg for strength.

Veins bulge on the backs of my hands

as I raise them to gates of pure pearl.

I do not condemn

the whips they lash across my back.

The keys of sin

and death under my control.

These leeches and parasites of sin can no longer sidle within their souls, because

I say to you Father

your will has been fulfilled. 

We Are the Prolife Generation

This past week, I traveled with close to fifty  fellow classmates of mine to Washington DC to participate in the forty second annual March For Life. We drove twelve hours through the middle of Tuesday night, and arrived around nine in the morning to a snow speckled and frigid aired capital.

1/21/15
We begin our journey at the Holocaust Museum. I feel my insides tighten as I step into an elevator with my fellow classmates. A small television screen begins to play an introduction video giving us glimpses of the horrors we are about to see inside the museum when the elevator reaches the top. As the elevator doors part, we step out into a dimly lit room followed by several hallways. Walls are lined with black and white photographs and historical objects that depict the endless terrors that came as a result of the Third Reich.
As I walk through the museum, I read facts about events, years, and statistics about death and torture. As I round a corner, my nose is suddenly filled with a musty, old, and burnt smell; I have walked into a hallway lined with thousands of shoes. They lie in blackened heaps paired with a quote from Edward R. Murrow saying, "One shoe, two shoes, a dozen shoes, yes. But how can you describe several thousand shoes?" I see before me 4,000 shoes that had been discovered by Soviet troops during the liberation of the camps Auschwitz and Majdanek. The shoes were confiscated, along with eyeglasses, clothing, hair and toothbrushes in the killing centers of the camps from the victims. They were found in massive mounds with few prisoners who were still living. I cannot ignore the smell radiating from the shoes. It has been several decades, and the aroma is still potent enough to haunt my senses.
I walk into another room to find a white model of the Auschwitz crematorium; a four chambered construction disguised as shower rooms where the victims were put to death by gas. This method of killing was used to reduce more than 1,000 victims to ashes a day. My stomach churns as my eyes soak up a glimpse of this terror. naked figures of women, men, and children are before me standing below shower heads. I imagine the screams escaping the open mouths of those whom the figures are representing, only to be ignored.
All throughout the museum are signs telling visitors that these terrors can never happen again.

1/22/15
I am in the middle of the March for Life now. I am walking alongside hundreds of thousands of men and women proclaiming the right to life. Many people hold signs and banners that state phrases such as, "We Are the Prolife Generation", "Every Life Matters", and "Life Counts". We are marching, because we refuse to ignore the unheard voices of the third of our generation we have already lost to abortion. I find myself comparing these voices to the ones depicted by the Holocaust museum yesterday. These victims were ignored decades ago, and now we proclaim the voices through writings exhibits, and teachings. Why are we ignoring the innocent voices of the unborn now?
We continue to walk, and eventually approach a large screen set up in the street displaying gruesome images of clearly alive and developing children being extracted from their mother's wombs during abortions. I feel sick. I feel like my heart is being punched repeatedly and relentlessly. It is as though my heart does not have enough time to bleed before the next blow is delivered. The images of death are endless. I think back to the hallway of shoes; the smell is seared into my memory. The images of the children are also burned into my brain. I think to myself, How can we ignore obvious life? 
I turn to one of my girlfriends after the march is over and say, "Can you imagine what will happen when they finally outlaw abortion?"
"Yeah, and we look at abortion like we look at the Holocaust now?"
"Yeah! I wonder if there will be an abortion museum one day schools will visit."
I find myself thinking about the words "Never Again" plastered all over the Holocaust Museum. Will these words be written about abortion one day? Will the sickness one day be discovered just like the terrors of the Nazi party were?
We march, because remaining quiet results in the loss of innocence. We cannot ignore what has happened to over a third of our generation. Mindless killing. We need to start proclaiming "Never Again!" to preserve the hearts and souls not only of the unborn children, but of their mothers and fathers as well. Abortion is the crematoria, and it is time to put out the fire.

I would like to dedicate this blog to my brothers and sisters who have been lost to abortion. I would also like to dedicate this post to the mothers and fathers impacted by abortion. Let your hearts be opened and cleansed of this tragedy.

"Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want."
-Mother Teresa

Here are the pictures we need to see of children and mothers; where they are glorified.

What Do You Like Most About Yourself?

I have made it a habit to write a daily journal entry. Sometimes my journals are very generic, and only mention a few highs and lows of my day. Other times my journals are extensively long and full of details and emotions. Sometimes I will find myself writing so quickly, that I don't realize what I am writing, or if it even makes sense. I write down everything that pops into my head. I notice that I do this after going back to old journal entries and rereading them.

Not too long ago, I had one of those days where I wrote just to write. I was not writing inspired events or details. I was writing raw thoughts. I remember sitting upstairs at my sister's desk, and I had previously given my granny her morning medicine. I remember needing a compliment, but the only way I would be satisfied would be if the compliment came from myself. Typically I try hard to carry my heart with humility. I hold great admiration for people who are humble. But there are some days where you have to tell yourself that you're fantastic. That is exactly what I did in my journal that day; in the worst handwriting ever, and with no title or introduction, I wrote down a list of ten things I like about myself. I scribbled down the first ten things that popped into my head, without putting analysis or effort into the ten details. 

Here is my list:

1. I am not like other girls.

2.Everything that I care about, I care for with my whole heart.

3. I have a pure soul that only one person will have the opportunity to have it shared with through God. 

4. I am beautiful; and I will have beautiful children.

5. I work hard to achieve any goal I develop for myself.

6. I am blessed with an intelligent mind from The Ultimate intelligent mind of our universe. 

7. I desire a life of virtue and humility; I will have it.

8. I am athletic, and nothing will ever hold me back physically.

9. I have a chance to experience endless cultures, places, foods, people, and love.

10. I have two beautiful families that would do anything in the world for me and to see me smile; my earthly family with three brothers and two sisters, and my heavenly and divine family with the Sacred heart of Jesus and the Immaculate heart of Mary. 

This is exactly how I wrote the list. Some may not make sense. Others are probably not grammatically correct. Still others sound highly conceited, but I love these things about myself. It is so cheesy what I did. Naturally, I encourage anyone who reads this to do it too. Write down ten things you love most about yourself. 

My sister Katie and I made lists for each other as well, and hearing the real reasons why my best friend thinks so highly of me was somewhat astonishing. So write a list for your best friend too. You may be surprised that some of your most prized characteristics are waiting to be unveiled by you. 

Cheers,

D

What Was Your Favorite Thing to Imagine as a Child?

As a child, my favorite thing to imagine was myself dancing onstage. I can remember wanting more than anything to be on Radio City in New York with the Rockettes. I used to flip through the pages of  "Young Dancer" magazines and think to myself how happy they all seemed in their perfect kick line. I wanted to be one of those girls. My sister Katie and I actually composed an entire lifestyle plan for when we became professional dancers; we had a highly healthy meal plan, a budget drawn out, and the type of apartment that would best fit the needs of two aspiring dancers. I wish I still had the little spiral notebook in which we had written all of this down. I am sure a budget in the minds of an eight and a ten year old was not realistically sustainable.
There was one day during our elaborate planning when I said to Katie,
"Since desserts are expensive usually, let's limit ourselves to one dessert a week." I had based this logic off of going out to eat with my parents, and being rejected for my request for dessert in order to "save money".
Katie responded with logic of her own saying, "Um, I'm not having only one dessert a week. I can afford to have more than one dessert a week."
Obviously our priorities were straight.
But we wanted it! As children, people seemed to be much more passionate about what they wanted to become when they grew up.
My family and I used to listen to a lot of music by the band "Third Day", and I used to wish that their lead singer would somehow find out about Katie and I dancing. In my fantasies, he would ask us to perform in concert with their band as their dancers. Christian bands do not typically have dancers. In reality, usually the only artists that would perform with dancers were hip hop or pop artists. For some reason in my mind at the time, I thought ballet flowed beautifully with the music of "Third Day".
To me, dancing was a creative way of working. I loved picturing myself in high-heeled tap shoes and a short frilly red skirt with golden threading. I would envision my arms linked with those of beautiful women, kicking my legs in unison with them.
I stopped dancing after beginning high school. I became more involved in school athletics such as swimming, cross country, track, and cheer leading. It is funny how something that used to consume hours of my time, physical labor, and thoughts is hardly more than a hobby to me now. Dancing is no longer the most dominant aspect of my life, but it did teach me skills and characteristics that I try to carry on today; grace, patience, humility, discipline coordination, rhythm, poise, and passion. Although Katie and I have very different plans for our futures now in comparison to those of the afternoons we convinced ourselves we would perform dance on a professional level,  I still enjoy entertaining my imagination through dance.